11.11.11

This November 11, 2011, I turned 23. A very auspicious date, and even a full moon. For those of you who know me well, you will know that my birthday is a really symbolic time of year for me. It is this time of year I start to contemplate where I’ve been, what I’ve done and what I’ve achieved. It marks the end of an era but also the beginning of a new one. It is close to Christmas and allows me to realign myself with family values and is also the start of a great transition period before the New Year. I look back a year ago and I was with a man I thought I was going to marry on the other side of the World and not long after I was re-learning to walk after a serious accident.  Three pretty huge things. And a year later, everything is completely different.

My birthday this year coincided with a very huge change in my life; my decision to move home… and stay home for a while. As most of you know, I haven’t ‘lived’ in WA for about a decade as I’ve been off gallivanting around the World since as young as I can remember. My only real friends here are those I’ve known since I was a young child and some other special people I’ve met on visits back. I arrived back in Perth with no networks, no real identity and nothing to lose. I speak differently, I probably act differently and I know I certainly see things differently than most people around me. It’s a weird, but kind of empowering feeling.

Having not shared my 18^th or 21^st with my family and longest-known friends (except for my mother who was pivotal in my 21^st), I felt my birthday as a perfect time for a reunion. My dad organised sunset cocktails and platters of tapas overlooking the ocean with my nearest and dearest. The evening went off without a hitch (except for a bit of wind, but hey – that’s Freo!). I felt blessed to have so many people come and it was a really powerful feeling sharing my birthday with my family and those who have known me longest; a feeling I haven’t experienced in a while. I was really overwhelmed with gratitude. I still am. 

But for some reason this birthday feels even more monumental than it has in the past. Perhaps it is because I’ve come into my own, I am home, and I am the beginning of the next phase in my life. For the first time I don’t feel too old or too young. I feel free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. I am young enough to enjoy life to the fullest without real responsibility, but I am old enough to do all those things I’ve wanted to do but not felt ready for in the past. I am not worried what other people think of me; I have integrity and I know that. I am not going to hold back if I feel like doing something; who knows how long we have to live. I am simply going with the flow and taking the opportunities that life presents me with, because why not?

The two questions I am asked the most now I’m back are, what are you going to do for work? And, what about love? I am at a crossroads in my career but it’s time to make some money. I am really enjoying not working at the moment and having time to be social and connected to nature, but I am also balancing my time with applying for jobs and working on projects. Unfortunately the job market here in WA is not super compatible with my experience and the selection process takes 6-8 weeks in most cases. But I know everything will work out, and there is no rush. Everything happens at the right time for the right reasons. And that is pretty much the answer to the second question as well. Yes, I am definitely a love person; whether it’s romantic love, or love for my friends or even just love for the present moment. You all know that & I guess that’s why people ask me about it. But I’m enjoying the freedom of not being involved right now. After living in Brazil and the US with men who are generally far different and more open in their approach to dating I get a little bit confused by Australian men.  Maybe I should buy a book so I can read the signs a little better! It also feels like a lot of Australian women are not treated like the goddesses they are, and that concerns me a little. Women are powerful and here to be treasured, so come on Aussie ladies! Command that. It’s all very confusing for me, like I said. So I am just enjoying the moment and as long as I’m not hurting anyone I can’t go wrong there. Another perk of being twenty-three.

So, that was my 11.11.11. A turning point, the beginning of my Australian life, my embracement of being in my 20s, a reunion and reestablishment, and living it up and finding this beautiful inner freedom. You never know where the opportunities that came along are going to take you, and I’m feeling really great about that.

Technology-Free Thursday

I’ve been back in Australia for a few weeks now and life is bloody beaut, as one would say here. Life has been all about friends, family and special moments. I guess my life seems to be about that wherever I am though. However, there is one big difference that has come as a little shock to me after living on the remote Catalina Island. That difference is technology.

Let’s take a step back in time to a few weeks ago. I was on an island with no roads, internet that took an hour to download my emails and all day to upload pictures on facebook and there was certainly no mobile reception. There was a TV but unless I was a baseball loving male I never got anywhere near the remote, and hence never watched TV. My computer is a netbook and doesn’t have space for a DVD/CD player to even watch movies. I had no technology. I lived with 30ish people in a very isolated, secluded part of the island and so the notion of ‘instant messaging’ existed by walking down to the Lodge where people would be knitting, playing guitar, drinking beer, reading, singing, laughing, cleaning, studying, listening to music or getting ready to go on some adventure. If I wasn’t satiated with communication from my colleagues and friends, my job involved roughly 10 hours a day interacting with sometimes over 100 kids. I even shared a room with someone, so I could wake up in the middle of the night and talk to them if I wanted to. There was no shortage of sociability despite the lack of technology.

So now I find myself in the exact opposite situation. I’m alone most of the time, and have to actively search out people and social situations. At first the alone time was amazing. Beach meditations, runs along the beach, walks in the park, reading books, creating art, cooking, sleeping. I was really able to be in my zone. But I have to say, the novelty has worn off. I like people. I like relating to people, I like connecting to people, I like understanding people, I like loving people, I like having physical relationships, I like hearing people’s voices and opinions and thoughts. So… I started using technology again. All the time. I have an iPhone, so my Skype, messaging, facebook, etc, was there, in my pocket 24/7. I enjoy it because I get that social stimulation and connect and communicate with the people I’m thinking about even though they might be at work or somewhere else afar. But I feel a little frustrated with the lack of real, physical communication; seeing someone’s smile when they laugh or just hearing their voice.

So I decided to have a technology free day, in an increasingly technology-reliant world. The main purpose was to see how life would be without instant communication, but of course other technology as well. If I could live life how they did it twenty years ago or back on the island. I hadn’t been sleeping well and I was feeling that I was lacking a certain peace I used to have by being out in nature all the time, so a technology free day seemed to be a good way to re-ground myself.

The day started at sunrise. I woke up to the sun and looked at my analog clock, 5.30am. Thinking about what I was going to do for the day, I started to wonder how I was going to make this work. I crawled into my mum’s bed and confessed “I’m already regretting this decision to have a technology-free day”, 6am.

 I went to the beach for a run. Wait, does an ipod count as technology? Dang. At least it’s the beach, so the crashing waves provide for song. I took my snorkel down and went for a swim afterwards. The sandy bottom was covered in sea stars. Their tracks had made a pattern that reminds me of the flower of life pattern. Beautiful flowers everywhere made of out the pantaradial shape of sea-stars. It was breath-taking; I’ve never seen anything like it. My first thoughts, I want to take a photo and capture this and share it. Oh but wait, I can’t use my digital camera. I realised at this moment I had a serious desire to share beautiful moments with people. That is not to say I am not able to just be with the beauty and appreciate it, because being in the moment is my number 1 priority. But ultimately, I wish someone I care about was there with me so I could be in this special moment with them. Realisation time, 7.30am. Even though I was alone I still wanted to share, so I caught crabs climbing over the pier pilings and picked up sea stars for little kids swimming and started teaching them the hidden creatures that live in what looks like a barren white sandy beach. To see their eyes light up was rewarding enough; I forgot about my camera.

I took all my interactions by chance and just popped around people’s houses and hoped they were home. I bought a ukulele to make my own music. The ukulele, very conveniently, came with a CD to learn how to play it, and hence I had to quite hilariously try and teach myself from a book. I thought about texting friends to see which song I should learn, or search for chords on the internet, but alas that was out of the question too. I searched for a new battery for my dying film camera so I could take digital-less photos, but apparently most shops don’t sell batteries from the 80s anymore. I cleaned my room. I read. It was raining so I was confined to the house & by about 5pm I was starting to get a little anxious as if I was having withdrawals. I was craving stimulation; craving communication. I’m one of those people who always say ‘I like technology, but don’t need it’. By the afternoon I was wondering whether this was a big fat lie, and I was a cold hard addict after two weeks of technology back in my life.

Thank God Chadia was home when I left my granny flat and went up to the house. She was, however, watching a movie and I resisted joining in. She very kindly turned it off and we went for a walk with the dog to the shops and dropped some DVDs back. We cooked and baked and then sat around the table talking and it was a beautiful, peaceful evening without technology. Dad came home later and lasted an hour or so then turned on the News, and that was my cue to leave. I’d done it. I made it through the day without technology. An afternoon nap made it hard to fall asleep, so I decided, what the heck, and put some music on and laid in bed day-dreaming until the day dreams became night dreams and I ventured off into a far away, technology-free place.

Now, the next day, I lay here in bed listening to Riders on the Storm and Bossa Nova as the rain pelts on my tin roof and the sun creeps in through my open door and windows. I’m certainly feeling more grounded and things are back in perspective for me.  Perhaps I’ll make this a weekly thing.