Brazilan Motels

Type Motel into Brazilian Google and you might be surprised. Motels have a different meaning here. They are effectively hotel rooms you can hire for 1,2 or 12 hours to... umm... ahem... They are completely private , and you drive in anonymously and pay with your credit card on the way out. Coming from a generally conservative country, the notion of going to a Brazilian ‘Motel’ was, well, different to say the least. Many young adults live at home with their parents until they’re married here in Brazil. Hence a motel is seen by many as a convenient place to have some ‘intimacy’ time. They have names like ‘My Garden’ ‘You Decide’ ‘Adam and Eve’ and other names carrying innuendo. There are certainly a lot things that come to your mind when you think about motels, but in my opinion it’s probably better not to think too much. I was naturally intrigued to see what a motel was like, rather than enjoy it for its intended use and purpose, and Diogenes was equally intrigued to see my reaction about one given my generally prudish nature.

Another important detail about motels is that they are significantly cheaper than hotels. Diogenes and I were coming back from Ubatuba one our way back to Pato Branco (an effective 2 day trip thanks to road works and the additional hours it takes to tackle Sao Paulo City traffic), and we arrived at our mid-way destination significantly later than we had hoped. Not to mention our 9 month anniversary together and my one month anniversary in Brazil was a few days away hence we had cause to celebrate and indulge a bit. Instead of staying in a hotel we thought we’d enjoy the opportunity to see what a motel was like and book out one of the fanciest rooms (of course, if it was too weird we’d leave and go to a normal hotel). So... what was it like? Well, it was incredible to say the least. It was like a 5-star hotel room that you would pay $600US a night for. We had a sauna, a giant hydro-pool with a waterfall, a 50” plasma, 2-story apartment, double-king pillow-top bed, a fire-place, a private room for room service deliveries such as our complimentary breakfast, everything, all for the equivalent of $70US... There were a few little twists though... such as porn channels on TV (alongside normal Cabel TV), a room service catalogue with whips and vibrators (in addition to food, drinks, etc) a mirror and blue light above the bed a lazyboy-esque chair with handles... Umm.... Awkward! We nevertheless had a seriously relaxing and luxurious night in our stunning apartment enjoying the sauna and spa, drinking wine and feeling gloriously pampered. In summary, what did I think of my first Brazilian Motel experience? I was surprised, indeed, about how high quality it was. Diogenes and I both were. I would recommend anyone to stay in one over a hotel, and hey? If you kept the TV off, I would even recommend the room to my grandma!