I just climbed my way onto the Amtrak train, with my arms full of miscellaneous bags containing raw food, books, a yoga mat, photos, some clothes and hiking boots… heading south. While I waited for the train to arrive I laid in the sun on a bench reminiscing the last four months since my arrival in the United States. I am an Aussie, taking on the World; it is a powerful thought. I remember the sensation of bringing home my Ikea bed in a taxi and assembling my baron room into what would later become my home, my escape, my place. Last night, I dreamt my last dreams in that bed and said au revior to my life in Berkeley . My housemates became family, my colleagues became friends and I feel an incredible sense of gratitude for all the people that have impacted my life over the last few months. Saying goodbye felt trivial as it is impossible to comprehend that I won’t be coming back to Euclid Avenue any time soon. I found my place, and now I am packing up and leaving again. For what, though?
A career move and another life experience is the short answer. But when will all my travels become enough travelling? Saying goodbye time after time is hard, especially when meaningful relationships are formed with people and place. My farewell celebrations over the last week reminded me of my last week/month in Australia. The question travelers with sentimental bones often ask themselves is, is all this travelling and are all these new experiences worth being away from those you love and always having to say goodbye? Well, of course it depends on who you are, where you’re from and what you value. Knowledge, career, learning, experience, new friendships, culture, new food and environments are among a few of the benefits of traveling. The opportunities I will experience in the coming months will be unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and there is a thrill of excitement, anticipation and freedom is packing up and going where the wind takes you. In some ways, I am closer with my family now because I make an effort to write to them, keep in contact and share more with them rather than take them for granted. Or at least I feel closer to them in heart and spirit. I know that I have definitely learnt to love more.
Currently, I am sitting on an the train, on my way down to Salinas from Berkeley. It’s 3pm; my favourite time of day. The sun glares a perfect warmth across everything it touches, and creates a soft shadow over everything it does not. I’m wrapped up in a blanket feeling cosy and relaxed but still very aware of the icey chill I face when I will get off the train. This is my first winter in the Northern Hemisphere and despite living in one of the warmer parts of the country I always seem to forget just how cold it gets. The temperature has been warming up lately though and I am incredibly excited for the joy that summer brings.
I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of groundedness and awareness as I sit here with a gentle smile staring out the window, waiting for ‘what next’. There are what looks to be floodplains out to my right with the winter sun reflecting over the water and the famous Monterey peninsula mountains out to my left in shadow. The towns and industrial civilizations I am passing are quaint and still. They remind me of rural Australia, and feel nostalgic for home. It is in this perfect moment of quietness that sparked the urge to reflect and write the way I used to at the beginning of my journey; my journey on a one way ticket. When I was ‘travelling’, before I settled in Berkeley, I always had time by myself on trains, planes, buses to just sit, as I am now, and contemplate as I journeyed from one new experience to the other. I guess day to day life consumed me and it’s been a long time since I have not only contemplated and reflected, but had time to.
So here I am again, on the road, ready to tackle yet a new challenge, experience and life lesson and I couldn’t be more at peace about it.
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